Handling Rejection

Dealing with rejection

Oh No! You’ve been turned down for that job you were convinced you were so made for / that pretty/handsome young thing you really liked has kicked you to the proverbial pavement/ the clique you wanted to be a part of has squeezed you out of their lives like an ill-fated whitehead/ etc etc.
Diddums.
We all face ‘rejections’ in one form or another. It’s an inevitable part of the troublesome conundrum that is life. If you find you deal with it particularly badly, here are several truths for you to swallow; they might help numb the pain, yet are free and a whole heap healthier than Prozac Jack

i) Firstly, if the person who has snatched this dream away from you for the moment has also succeeded in making you doubt yourself and damaging your self-esteem/ ego/ confidence (this means) your self-esteem/ego/ confidence was probably fragile in the first place. Fix this. OK? Done…

The reason it’s called SELF-esteem and SELF confidence is because you don’t give anyone the power to affect it, except for….your SELF. Duh. Geddit? OK. Done.


ii) How are you going to give someone who has only seen a small snapshot of you the power to make you feel like a loser. You loser! (Sorry). YOU know ‘you’ and all the great things about you, so don’t let this one hiccup in your life’s journey make you forget those things. The person/ company/ silly boob who let you go hasn’t made a negative assessment of you as a person- because they don’t fully and completely know you as a person. This means you should not be taking their judgment of you too deeply. After a ‘failure’ we tend to focus on failure. Re-organise your thinking and write a mental list of all the many, many things that are GREAT about YOU to focus on instead. Hurrah!

iii) Of course I’m not assuming everyone reading this will be approval-dependant saps. I’m sure many of us aren’t. The reason you are so cut up about the rejection is because you really, really wanted the thing that you were going after. But maybe you wanted it with an inordinate desire that transcends time and seas and existential sense and ….sorry I’m getting all poetic on your hyneez. But yes, maybe you were so driven on that thing and you shouldn’t have been, because you lost all flexibility (-which you need in this unpredictable life) and balanced perspective.
The maze of your life’s path (-am I being too deep again?) doesn’t come with a Sat Nav and sometimes we genuinely don’t know what is best, until we’ve got things we thought we wanted, and it eventually becomes apparent they were not good for us to have in the first place.
Basically, I know you thought you wanted it, but maybe life is doing you a favour by not giving it to you. In the short-sightedness that often accompanies the earnest desires of youth, you just haven’t realised this yet.


iv) …The other side to this coin is that the thing you wanted is meant for you…just NOT YET. This means the rejection has been good for you…yes- GOOD!
“But why, Retty. Why?” –I hear you ask…
Because this rejection hasn’t killed you, it has made you stronger. So you will build strength of character and determination. It means the next time round, when you get a second, third or fourth chance to get that thing, you will not only be more prepared to receive it, you will appreciate it more, because of the journey traversed on the way to grasping it. And because you’ve valued and held on to the dream through difficulty- you’ll be more worthy of it.

Many celebrated people today had to face much rejection before getting to the admirable place they are now at.
Sometimes it’s just a matter of FAITH and PATIENCE.

Consider this sad account;
“Coping with rejection and apparent failure is a serious matter. The tragic death of John Kennedy Toole screams this truth at anyone lucky enough to need an explanation. No publisher would touch Toole’s book. In a vain attempt to kill the pain, he suicided. Posthumously, his book was published. It won the 1980 Pulitzer Prize for fiction.”
(From net-burst.net/hot/cope)


So pick yourself up. Dust yourself off.
Tomorrow is a new day, kiddo. Don’t take yourself or the things of this life too seriously.



N.B. God loves you.
I’m outty
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Ser Guapa, Etre belle, Being Beautiful,

Subtitle: Women are obsessed with their beauty. (Generally, this is because men are obsessed with women’s beauty. That's a whole other blog). And because women (not entirely incorrectly) associate beauty with being desired. And they confuse being desired with being loved…And alas ultimately, all women want –is to be loved.
…So let me tell you how to achieve our vain wishes!!...

Make yourself uber more beautiful!! Instantly!...

1= Believe!! How do you suppose to convince others you are H.O.T if you don’t believe it yourself? Furthermore; that understated, unshakable self-confidence (not arrogance) that this involves is within itself supremely attractive.

2= (…Relates to point ‘1’) But yes! You have good bits. Fully acknowledge them. Refuse the human default of doing otherwise – depressing yourself by focussing on ‘flaws’ (many of these are only in your head anyway)

3= (…Also tied to point numero uno. And dos)
Gwen Stefani has relatively no bosom, Sarah Jessica Parker’s face resembles an equine creature and Lucy Lui has a lazy eye, etc etc. But these women are examples of many who are universally recognised as being sublimely attractive. The point being, as much as I am no advocate of our generation’s sad celebrity obsession, if I can draw any positive from it, it is that of celebrating the confidence, elegance and general ‘swagger’ of people who know all this supersedes so called ‘imperfections’(i.e., they’ve already mastered points one and two)

4= Kind of paradoxical to point 3, but I stand by it: Stop looking at famous people on TV, in magazines etc and comparing yourself to them. Just Stop! Withdraw yourself from being a victim of the advertising and entertainment industries’ quest to make you unhappy with what you have -and thus desire what they offer. This is my favourite tip for being (aka acknowledging you yourself are already) beautiful.

5= Smile much, employ humour, live selflessly, eschew envy, negative thoughts, anxiety, self-loathing and malice. Trust me, this kind of character is truly attractive. (Plus- stress and negative emotions actually do affect your health and appearance)

6= Dress nicely. Don’t worry; I won’t disappoint you by making this post completely un-superficial (I know you were prob hoping for some revelatory, secret physical beauty tips). But I love clothes… not only are they a means of individual self-expression - dare I say like good art- a nicely put together outfit or beautiful dress for example can bring any man or woman up a couple notches. We all know it is of no value when it comes down to the real things of life and people; nevertheless, it does show someone cares about themselves if they take effort to not look like a hobo all the time.

7= Looking your best =is equal to= Looking healthy.
What is more appealing than beautiful, flawlessly smooth, healthily glowing skin on anyone? Or hair that looks so cotton soft, it’s difficult to resist reaching your fingers up to touch it?
Nothing! I’d say it’s the most attractive accessory one can have.

And the answers to good health and beauty are all provided in nature. For example, lavender essential oil is just one solution for blemished skin, soft hair, hair growth, cell repair and muchissimos beauty fixes besides. Get books on Natural Beauty from a library, bookshops or online (there are many good ones around, e.g by Liz Earle or Josephine Fairley ) and discover the myriad of minor miracles nature provides for holistic beauty.

Also, start regular facial massaging. You’ll be surprised at how such a simple and free process can leave your visage so much more toned and dewy. Check Youtube for good routines.

But again, you can find more great techniques in books. So do be acquainted with your local library and information resources as they help feed a beautiful mind, which is after all where the most important beauty comes from :D




'Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain' -Proverbs 31:30