The Problem with the Hurt

Hurt is inevitable in the human process of living. Yet some people take it as an extraordinary happening that solely occurs so sorely to them; using it as an excuse to wallow in victim-hood and self-pity. This is often those of us who are self-righteously inclined, and who are forgetful to the fact we’ve also caused hurt before and have needed to be forgiven.

What else should we do to deal with the hurts in a healthy way?
Respect time. It really does seem to heal. So don’t throw away a potential lifetime friendship for something that may have been said in 30 seconds of folly, no matter how much it may have pierced you at the initial moment.

We also need to learn how to accept that going through some roughness in our lives is not only inevitable, it is valuable and necessary. Interestingly in biblical times, newborn babies were salted before being wrapped in swaddling. This process was to toughen up their skins against the things they would henceforth be facing in this germ ridden, rough-and-tumble world. It is inevitable as we grow older in years and essential for growing as people. Let us even learn to say 'hurrah', for (learning to deal with) the hurts!




Colossians 3:12-13
12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also [do] ye.

The Spirit of Anarchy

During the past week, the country has experienced a growing deluge of rioting, looting, nihilism and civil unrest heretofore unprecedented in this generation of English youth.
It began several days ago, stemming from the peaceful protest of the family of a young black Londoner, who had been shot dead by police in unclear circumstances. This was just a spark in catalyzing a great fallout of youthful rebellion, violence and anarchy on city streets.
There are a good few key factors contributing to these troubling scenes played out before us. Here are three:

Disillusionment
There is a crippling recession. People feel helpless. Employment rates are disparaging. People are angry at politicians –they seem to get away with so much.
Respect for authority feels pointless. People are fed up with all sorts.

-Look at societal history- bad government and economic misery always leads to social unrest.

The age old, universal angst of youth
In this kind of mass movement of people, there is also a perverse sense of camaraderie. Adolescents are collecting side by side for a –albeit negative- common cause.
These are things commonly sought after in human nature, no matter the walk of life. If it were only poverty and working-class disillusionment that made us act out, you wouldn’t have seen middle-class wannabe rebels such as rock star son Otis Ferry publicly displaying anarchic, anti-establishment behaviour in the notorious student protests earlier this year.

Greed and materialism
“Don’t underestimate the desire for a free pair of Nike trainers.”
-Timothy Spall on This Morning in reference to the looting

‘Nuff said.


And basically, if the people at the top were performing their duties with integrity, we people at the bottom wouldn’t be suffocating in such resentment.

Proverbs 29:2: When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice: but when the wicked beareth rule, the people mourn.

Valentine's Day for the Savvy Singleton

So it’s Valentine’s day…And on this day where many are wrapped up in an enthralling haze of all manner of romance and amorous attentions you remain…-oh, that dreaded word- SINGLE!..

‘Single’ to the point where you are fighting back the sad urge to secretly buy a giant teddy bear. For at least then you will have someone/thing to inordinately cuddle and squeeze when the oppression of singledom bears down on you like the shame of a badly attached weave you haven’t had time to cover the tracks of before going out(-think of something equally disheartening if you’re a man or none weave wearer, such as myself. Ahem).

Maybe you could console yourself with the thought that this day is really just an excuse for abject commercialism and consumerism, where sappy people are pressured into showing more affection to a -probably rarely appreciated- partner than they’d ever care to for the rest of the year, where contrived notions of an armed and bare-bottomed cherub are not thrust upon us.

On the other hand, maybe you are single of your own accord and very happily so. Maybe this day does pass you by as just another money-spinner for card and choc companies. However, maybe you are one who can appreciate it as a chance to celebrate Love in its various forms.

It’s good to make the most of every single day life brings (-did you spot the pun). So here are some suggestions of things the self-affirmed singleton can do to maintain their feel-good factor this Valentine’s:

1. If you have any other good friends who are single, meet up. Good friends + good nosh + good natter, always = good times. Because it’s this time of year, you unfortunately may feel inclined to talk about relationships. Fair enough, but any negativity must be forbidden. You are only allowed to talk about the lovely qualities that you would like to find in your future partner. Also, tell your friends that at whatever point in the future you introduce them to your future hubby/ wifey, if they are less than you dreamed of and thought you deserved, said friends are allowed to punk-slap you.

2. Instead of focussing on yourself and perhaps how ‘unloved’ you feel, think of someone else. Give a call to that lonely old auntie of yours who has nobody but her cats to appreciate her. This will also teach you that Love at its purest is a completely unselfish virtue.

3. Take the time to strengthen familial love. Treat your parent/s to a meal. Take the little cousins you hardly ever see out somewhere fun. Reminisce with your siblings... The sad thing about family ties is that so often, if they are left untended, inevitable life occurrences such as moving away, simply growing up and apart and in some cases, hurtful disputes will render them almost irredeemable.

4. If you are a happy singleton (like yours truly!) maybe you are taking time-out from the world of romance and relationships so you can focus on being the best person you can be. This is wise, as when/if you do eventually find yourself with a special someone, you will have made sure you have a lot more to bring to the table than just your needs and the baggage you’ve accumulated (and perhaps never sorted) from past experiences. You know the ways in which you want to improve yourself. This could range from anything to becoming someone who is cultured and well-travelled; strengthening your spiritual self; or getting a gym routine going so you are at your physical pique.

Whether you are single or not this Valentine’s, you have relationships in your life that need tending to.

If you do have a significant other and wish to maintain a blissful union for many more Valentines to come, remember key ingredients to a successful relationship are; mutual respect and consideration, honesty, openness and consistency…if you take anything out of the article, take this.



Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

1 Corinthians 8:3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not *love*, it profiteth me nothing.

Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife of whom thou lovest